The Undertow.

Sigh.

22 December 2011.

I miss you. But I probably deserve this for being insensitive too. I’m sorry. Let’s give this time.

But I have You, Allah. Reading the Quran calms my heart in an instant. To Your words, do I cling on to. Make du’a to You to make you and i Halal insyaAllah. Make du’a to Ya Latiff, the Gentle One, to be gentle with us and make your heart soft and gentle. I can’t change you, but Allah can, i’A. If this is love, ya Allah ar-Rahman ar-Raheem, please help me :(

THE Phase.

Today is Tuesday, February 8th 2011.

It seems like a fairly insignificant date. It really is. Well it actually was.

By “fairly insignificant” I meant it’s not our anniversary or anything.

But something did happen.

Today, he and I made a deal that we will not do anything until the special day comes insyaAllah. Ya Allah, I pray that that day will come soon insyaAllah.

And Ya Rabbi, You are beyond amazing, Most Merciful, Most Gracious.

(2:216) happened today- You have turned something that I love to do (SHAMEFULLY SAID) which is very bad for me into something that I’d hate but is actually good for me.

I have always wanted to quit this bad habit, but You, Ya Allah, You have made it super-easy for me, in ways that he and I can agree on while maintaining our good terms. Ya Rabb, you have made things smooth and easy for us, so that it is easier for us to please you. ALHMADULILLAH =)))

Today, because of that initial problem, he and I had our first major fight in a loooong time and by that, i mean months, alhamdulillah! Ya Allah, it was the most uncomfortable thing I’ve encountered! I believe that we really are in that comfortable phase that even an argument like that feels very very wrong. 

Ya Allah, if he is the one for me, I pray that You will make us right for each other and eventually, through Your trials and tribulations, we will able to get through them insyaAllah, with Your help and be Halal for each other for Your sake Ya Allah.

Amin amin Ya Allah :”)

closure.

“Life’s too short to dwell on things of the past.”(S.S., 2010)

i love you even more now than ever, for being the bigger person that you are.

this is for the both of us.

i miss clinging on to you…

…literally.

your face.

looking at it. touching it. caressing it. kissing it. every inch. loving it. every single detail.

.

.

.

i miss it.

.

so much.

despite the fact that i’ve been texting you in a nonchalant, unclingy manner, asking questions in such ways, i know, for a fact, that if (and once) i let my guard down and allow myself to think about how much i’ve missed you and your late night calls - how they sometimes make me think, feel peeved, laugh - and the various ways you say those three words to me every time you have to go, i will break down. but alhamdulillah, i’ve managed to stay composed and get a hold of myself. well, you did somehow hurt my feelings that night. but hey, like you said, forgiven & forgotten. hehe :)

so that’s it. i’ve started to miss you like old normal times already. you’re on your way to s’pore now. (sunday, 13 june 2010 - 6ish pm). can’t wait to hear your voice once more insyaAllah. the first time since tuesday night :)

<3

smitten.

thanks for holding my hand while i was falling asleep. and holding on to it all through the journey while you were driving. <3